Sportsocracy - 17th edition - The frosty olympiad

Wooohoo it's like the normal olympics but on ice and snow.

In particularly I have been watching the frosted fallic vestibules shooting down a gaping pipe at 143kmh plus, yeah what a great idea, not only does it sound like a weekend with katie price, it was quite hilarious, ironically like prices botox filled face.

The numerous bobsledding crash fest was the absolute focus of most of my laughing. Not only was the track tainted with a Georgian atheletes death, but it was made ultimately ironic that most of the crashes have took place on turn 13. I am ignorant enough to not even ponder the stage where irony and coincidence collide, its irony OK.

I also pondered how did a Georgian athlete get involved anyway, did he arrive in a time machine? I didn't know the IOC condemned athletes from different era's competing, what next a cretacious curling contest, "Oh and what a great shot by the scot, now its the oppositions play, oh and look at that...the T-rex has just tore his ***king head off and the gold medal is his, that shows tyranny wins everytime folks."

I have come to the conclusion that the winter olympics are just an excuse for a load of superior-ly balanced canadians and scandinavians to swish about in lycra polishing their helmets.

Whilst I on the other hand ***king struggle to put a pair of ice skates on and the fact that I would look like a human haggis if I put a lycra suit on.

What a waste of money it is, plus its weight-ist. I have not once seen a winter athlete/olympian of a shotput, hammerthrowing proportion participating, which is my point exactly.

I have found it to be greatly funny, even funnier than that twit faced bridget jones lookalike michael mcintyre. So with that point in mind, I will let my comments slide.

Sportsocracy - 14th Edition - Olympics hit by lightening Bolt.

I am finally back. After a holiday in Scotland in the highlands I am refreshed and ready to take the sporting world by the horns again.

Now the Olympics is pushing towards a close with the BBC pundits seemingly pointing towards 2012 rather than focusing on whats happening now. Now I'm not sure but could the BBC be plugging for viewers already. I don't know but Sue Barker seemed to be constantly mentioning it.

Even though I have been away, I have kept a focussed eye on the Olympics. The Olympics 2008 will not be known for its ultra new wave Chinese theme as well as Chinese event medal dominance this Olympics will be known for one man.

Usain Bolt. The Jamaican sprinter simply stole the whole show. Irony surrounds his surname, but its true this guy just penned the definition for the phrase "Fast as lightening". This boy is literally the fastest man over 100 and 200 metres on the whole planet.

First of all he broke his own world record in the 100 metres final. The moment of all moments, when all the world is watching, he decides to be faster than ever 9.69 seconds for 100 metres. The thing is I am not sure even if Usain knows what he is capable of, he slowed down before he even reached the line.

Picture this, this sprinter possibly has not even peaked yet, I believe he can go faster than that over 100 metres easily. He enjoys what he does, he show boats because he knows what he can do, he entertains the fans, he breaks world records, he does what he is supposed to do like every great before him.

Maurice Green was the same, he was cocky as hell and dominated the event for years. He entertained and we knew if he was racing we would get what we came to witness, a man running 100 metres below 10 seconds.

Usain is the same hes like every other professional on the planet, he makes what he does so easy, like a breath of fresh air, he falls into the category of making something so hard look ever so simple (Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, Roger Federer, Wayne Gretzsky).

Not only did Usain Bolt take the 100 metres world record he took the 200 metres as well. The previous 200 metres record originally recorded at the Atlanta Olympics in 1992 was took by Michael Johnson in a time of 19.32 seconds.

Michael Johnson was in the BBC studio as he watched on as Usain Bolt took to the starting blocks for the 200 metres final. A short time of 19.30 seconds later and Bolt was a gold medallist again. Johnson watched on as his 12 year record was finally broke.

A record which could have easily stood for another 12 years was smashed to smithereens by Usain, and Johnson could only congratulate such an athlete on his success.

Bolt was still hungry for more gold. With the 100 and 200 metres gold medals safe Bolt still had the fire in his stomach and determination for one last race, the 4x100 metres relay.

37.10 seconds later and another world record was smashed again. The final leg was run by former 100 metre world record holder, Asafa Powell. He received the baton from Bolt who ran a brilliant hundred and Powell powered Jamaica to a world record and the gold.

Usain Bolt is the first man since Carl Lewis in 1984 to win the 100, 200 and 4x100 metres in a single Olympics.

The question is I don't think Bolt has finished yet. This boy was put on this planet to raise the bar even higher and that he will do.

Next time - See my top ten goals of all time. Video special.