Sportsocracy - 20th edition - Reds pump AC

AC Milan have had a total nightmare at the theatre of dreams tonight.

Man United ran rampant, 4-0 on the night with a Rooney brace, a Park Ji Sung slider and a point blank range head from Fletcher.

I have never seen a thumping like this since that Polish bloke punched Leona Lewis, keep bleeding indeed. Brazilian, AC gaffer and ex-midfield ace, Leonardo, looked dejected at the final whistle. Well what do you expect when AC fuhrer Silvio Berlusconi lubes up his team sheet before every match and f***s it up?

At least AC and Man U fans had the grace and gratitude for David Beckham on the night, he came on to a great reception from the whole ground and did ok. He also received a rapturous applause at the final whistle as he sported a Newton Heath, trademark original green and yellow scarf. He put it around his neck as he left the pitch showing support for the Glazers out brigade.

I understand Man Uniteds pain with the Glazers. All them bastard sales calls all the time. I just say me windows are fine so feck off.

Spend, spend, spend and still no champions league crown. Yes thats right Real Madrid are out of the champions league. Lyon go through to the quarters. Real, with recent transfers have nearly spent more money than what Bill Gates has in pocket change. They deserve it to be honest and it just shows money doesn't buy you success. Maybe Ronaldo will be effing and blinding wishing he never left Old Trafford. I personally don't care much for him but gladly cheer him on when he plays against england. So until you play england Ronaldo, its a big HAHA to you.

In other sports news some old folks played bowls and the Deepdale Catheters beat the Lea Loose Bowels, they now go on to face the Callon Conservative Constipationers. Local sports, a lad kicked a can down his street scoring a double hat trick in a world cup final and finally some middle aged balded men rode some motorbikes on a sunday. Great two wheeled times when your in a crisis, especially when its midlife.

Not forgetting a word from our sponsors. Mud, men, sweat, tears, blood, bad backs, scrums, mauls, misplaced loofahs, moans, groans and lots of vaseline. Did you know Rugby now accepts heterosexual men as well.